


Time

by Fish_Mommy



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Grell Sutcliff, Trans Grell Sutcliff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fish_Mommy/pseuds/Fish_Mommy
Summary: Grelle is unable to sleep tonight as she ponders the idea of her lover's past. What was his life like, before? Was his wife beautiful, did she look like her? Does her dear William have a type? How many children did he have, how many did he leave behind...She keeps William awake with her loud thoughts.
Relationships: William T. Spears/Grell Sutcliff
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Career Boy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24996499) by [Rhonda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhonda/pseuds/Rhonda). 



> Thank you for deciding to read my story! I have been working on it for a few weeks now making little edits and have just now completed it. I feel confident about posting it, now. Kuddo's are always nice and I love to read your comments to hear how you liked/didn't like it. 
> 
> Also, this story was inspired by Rhonda's Career boy. I loved the idea of a married Will.
> 
> Hopefully you like it, though!

Tik Tik Tik

"Hmm... mm..."

William subconsciously registers the slow melodic beat of his wall clock through the loud humming of Grell Sutcliff. His hands shift on her body that rests snuggled against his side to hold loosely around her waist on either side. Her humming stops momentarily as she adjusts to his movements, head pressing under his chin and arm draped over his hip. When she feels comfortable again, she slides her foot between his legs and lets out a soft whine. 

A sigh leaves William's lips immediately after and he moves one hand to scrub against the needy woman's scalp. She continues to make occasional noises through his treatment, and by this point it is eleven o clock, so he stops moving and tilts her head up to meet her soft gaze. "Just what is on your mind, Sutcliff, that you can not go to sleep?" He watches her register his words a bit slower due to her hazy mind and offers a squeeze to her waist for encouragement. 

Grell bats her short lashes at him and offers an innocent smile that holds the littlest bit of apology. "Have I been keeping you awake, dear?" Her voice sounds remourcful, but William will not be fooled. He waits for her to lower her eyes and put her head back on his chest to drag it up again. A satisied smile curls on her lips and she parts them to release a quiet moan. "No need to be so rough, Willy," she pouts and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I was simply thinking, is all..."

"Could you think a little quieter, then?" William holds her face captive with two fingers pressed under her chin. "I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is, you know this." He sees the grimace on Grell's face begin to form after a moment of holding her still and has the heart to remove his grip. She immediately starts rubbing at her face and snatches his wrist with little care to his comfort. He allows it. 

"You really should be more mindful of this," she pushes on a portion of William's finger that is covered in a piece of metal. Even though it is dark, she can see the gold glint off the moonlight and from prior knowledge, knows it is expensive and authentic. "Honestly, you sleep with me so much you should really just take it off." That comment alone caused a sharp pain to bloom on the side of her cheek but it is immediately replaced by the tender touch of William's rational side. Grell holds his gaze, but her fingers still play with the old wedding band. 

"I apologize for striking you," William speaks smoothly and tilts her face to the side to examine the mark he left. He pulls his hand from the blooming red and leans foreword to press a warm kiss against it. After deeming it harmless, he rests his hands against her waist and begins to pull her in a seated position on his lap. Grell immediately claims her spot by leaning foreword and nipping at his neck. "We have discussed the matters of my ring, and you told me you are okay with me having it still, but I am here to listen to your feelings and ask you once again, do you want me to stop wearing it?" William holds special feelings for Grell. He tells himself and everyone else who asks she is just someone he has managed to tolerate, but he knows tolerance and sleeping together are two different branches of a tree. He has not given her the title of girlfriend officially and although he is not as in touch with his emotions as she is with hers, he is aware his wedding band makes her uncomfortable. He does not want her to feel worthless or like just another woman to him, so he asks her on occasion how she is feeling. Sometimes, she is in different moods. She may tell him it is fine after a moment of thinking, but she will huff and whine about it for days after. He will remove the ring to see if she notices, which she does but then will find it back on his finger soon after when she slips it onto him herself. 

Right now, Grell is bracing against his chest and rocking her hips slighly in thought. William has to pull her higher on his stomach as he wants to sleep and if they fall into another round, it may not happen. Grell whines in disapproval, but she stays where he moves her and instead holds his hand tenderly in her own. "I think it looks fine on you, darling," she finally answers after a long pause. 

William sighs quietly and pulls his hand away to stroke her cheek with the metal of his band. "Is that what you have been thinking about?" he stops his movements and rests his hands back on her waist. "All this time?" 

His concerned expression damages Grell. She melts into his hold and falls deeper in love with the shimmering green-gold orbs. "No," she breathes quietly. Grell slides further back on him and rests her naked body completely on top of her lover. "Kind of..," she hums. "I was thinking about your life." Grell refuses to meet his gaze and instead busies herself with layering kisses along his neck. 

"What about my wife?" William holds her hair tenderly between his fingers and tugs slightly just enough for it to slip away. 

"No, darling, you life," she enunciates the word through her sleepy tongue and a yawn follows her. "I-I was wondering if you miss it. At all, any part."

William runs his fingers down her neck and feels the gooseflesh bubble under his pads. His expression is unreadable as he ponders his response. "I think about it sometimes. Why do you ask?" 

Grell hums quietly and slips a knee between William's legs. Her pelvis rests atop his groin, and she is comfortable like this. "Do you miss having a wife, and kids? Do you miss your kids?" She bites her lip and presses her face under William's chin.

William stares at her in modest shock, and then pity. "I do not miss my wife, and I did not have children. I was a terrible husband, and would have made an even worse father." He takes hold of Grell's face and strokes over her cheeks as easily as he has done tangled to her in bed. "It is one of the reasons I lie with you. I have changed since you weaseled your way into my life, and I am still not sure if I like all of it or not," he pauses and runs his thumb over the woman's closed lips. "But I like that you have shaped me into a better gentleman." 

Grell shakes her head and pauses to register just how uncomfortable he appears to be. She offers a comforting smile and fidgits with the gold wedding band. "You're the perfect man, my darling. You are so cold to me when we are surrounded by wittnesses, and you know how much I love that, but you have the most romantic side I have ever met when alone. I couldn't ask for anyone better. You understand the type of love I desire, and you give it ten times over. It drives me mad." She pulls at the ring until it slips from his finger and stares at the white ring left around his finger. "You were different in your past life, but you would make such the perfect husband for me." 

William sighs and runs his fingers through her crimson locks. "You want me, of all the men you could choose." He chuckles to himself and squeezes her tight. "I do not understand it, I could never be a good husband. I would only hurt you."

"Why...why were you such a horrible husband?" She reaches one of her manicured hands to graze William's cleanly shaven cheek. The ring hangs loosely over her own finger and William dully notes that is looks out of place on her. She deserves something prettier, holding more meaning. 

William grunts slightly and pulls the ring from her finger. He tosses it across the bed and holds her tighter against his body. The lack of a ring makes him feel somewhat empty, but in the moment, he can only focus on Grell. "I murdered them," he speaks, and watches for a change but Grell only slips her eyes shut and presses her head into his shoulder.

_Click. From the study, he can hear the panicked shouts. Loud pleas. His name. Apologies strewn here and there._

_"William-!"_

"I was tired of coming home from work to another man in my bed, with my wife. I hit my wife, and I never showed her enough love. She cheated because she craved a love I could not give, but I felt so injusticed. I was working all the time, for her."  
"I heard arguing the night my father killed himself. I never got the chance to prove to him I was a worthy son."

_Silent footfalls against hardwood came to a sudden halt at the sound of hushed yelling. He approached slowly and pressed his ear to the massive wooden doors._

_Click._

_His mother's voice came from the other side, and he held his breath. It was coming closer. He backed away slowly, but then it stopped._

_"Arthur, what do you think this is going to do? To our family, to your son!"_

_William glanced over his shoulder to make sure his sister wasn't creeping behind him. She is a whole three years younger than him and she never knows how to keep quiet when mom and dad are fighting. He returns his focus to the door. Were there always that many splinters?_

_"Elizabeth, shut up, just shut up!" William hears footsteps coming closer and he prepares himself for being caught, but then he hears a smack and something hit the ground. His father always hit his mother, and he could never help her. He would stop him this time._

_William started pushing the door open until he could see straight through, but what he saw made him stand completely still._

_"Will-"_

_Bang._

  
"My mother became resentful towards me. She blamed me for his falling. My sister had been taken away by her sister out of fear for her wellbeing, but my aunt left me with my mother. I was nineteen when my sister was taken from me, up until then, I was her protector." 

_"Will... I am scared." Incomprehensable mumbling coming from the other side of their bedroom door had William's sister huddled close. The feel of her fingers digging into his forearm never left his memory, not after she let go; not after she left his home._

_"I am here," he assures her, his own grip tightening around her waist. "Angelia, I will not let her touch you." His words are tight and he is not sure if he can even believe himself, but he knows he will go down trying._

_Their door knob rattles but does not budge, as William had locked it for an extra barrier. He pulls his sister behind him and listens to her sobs grow louder._

_"Don't let her bring him back, Will. He hurts my legs." Angelia presses close and watches as the door splinters against her mother's force. She jumps when the woman appears before them, and shrieks when she grabs her brother by the wrist and drags him away from her. But William takes every hit, and she stays safe behind his pillows._

"My wife, I only wanted to come home and make her happy. I wanted to give her the life she had always dreamed of. Children, a big home..." William slips his fingers through his lover's soft locks and watches each strand fall from the cracks as he pulls gentle. 

"She could not see that dream anymore. I watched it die from her eyes every night I caught her sleeping with another man. She came to me pregnant one day, all apologies and begging for forgiveness. She told me she was happy to have a child with me, that it had taken a long time but it was worth it."

 _William rustled in his pockets for a moment before the front door. He had not noticed the other car in the driveway in all his exhaustion._

I did not believe her. I was so angry with her, for taking advantage of my hard work and then going and running off with strangers. She took what I wanted with her. I wanted to start a family, I just needed more time to get my job together so we could afford it."

_"William! I-it's not-" she stops herself from continuing on as her husband steps closer to the bed she lies naked upon. The man beside her is quick to flee, and as much as William wanted to drag him back by his genitalia and rip it from his body with a razer blade, he is much to focused on the trecherous sight of his wife._

_Far too tired to fight, William raises a hand and watches his wife flinch before it has a chance to drop. He dully realizes she has become afraid of his hand, the same hand he uses to strike her to silence most nights. He feels no remorse. Simply exhaustion. "Why haven't you left yet?"_

_"William-_

_"I have yet to give you a child, we aren't quite sure if it is even possible for me to do so, and look at this place-" he flicks his wrist around the room in gesture and his wife flinces where she sits at the foot of the bed. Her cheeks are stained with shame for she bunches the sheets against her hips. "It is a dump," he finishes with little acknowledgment to her behavior. "Small. Too small for a child, much more three, and you," he gives her his gaze for a long moment before speaking again. "It is not fit for you. You deserve a bigger home, with a big kitchen. I have been trying, sweetheart, to make that happen." William holds her gaze while he waits for her to speak, though he is not sure if he wants to hear any excuses._

_"I know." It is barely a whisper that leaves her lips. "I know."_

_"Hannah," William calls her name and she breaks his stare. "You hate me. You barely let me touch you, even when I try to impregnate you. Why have you not left, why must you break my heart like this?"_

_"William, I-" Hannah gasps as a sob breaks through and she shakily holds around her midsection in a protective stance. "I'm pregnant... we- we're pregnant..." she attempts to sound hopeful, but all William can hear is pain and regret._

William nuzzles into Grell's hair and feels her fingers drawing circles on his arms. "I found a day that I could not take anymore of the exhaustion. Coming home to a cheating wife that refused to leave out of fear for what society would think. I was tired of my mother finding ways to haunt me, to remind me of my father's death. I watched him pull that trigger while she stood back, unable to stop him. I watched her break, but I did not accept her contempt towards me. My poor baby sister."

_"What are you doing? Open this door right now!"_

_Click._

_"William T. Spears I will have you sent to prison and killed, you hear me?" His mother continues to scream._

_Crack._

_"Darling, please," Hannah sobs. "Let us out, we can talk about it. Our child will see you, she will love you as I do. You are such a good husband, please!"_

_William listens with little attention as he rolls a bullet between his fingers. He watches the fire lick at the door and can feel the heat creeping up his own body. The screams have started on the other side._

_Click._

_"William- Bang!_

He can hear the quiet breathing of his lover and he presses a hand to her cheek to feel her face move. "I-I always did enjoy your cruel exterior-" Grell holds tighter to him and lifts her head to gaze lovingly into his eyes. "I should have been better to you, when talking about your grades. You are just perfect, darling. I want to show you that." 

William leans close to her to catch her lips in a tender kiss. While his hands move to encircle her body and press above her butt, he feels their kiss become something a bit deeper. He pulls back at the second taste of her tongue. "You already have, Grell. Right now, I would love to get some sleep." He feels her deflate against his body, and a small smile ghosts his lips. "What do you want to show me?" 

Grell licks her lips and holds William's shoulders tenderly. "You are more than average. You are a perfect man." She waits for his approval, but he only knocks her off his body and pins her to the sheets beside him. "Darling!" 

William circles his arms around her waist and holds her still. "Sleep first. In the morning, I will see if I have time." He can feel her pout, but he presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "I will get rid of that ring, it has been kept much past its time. I think it deserves an upgrade, don't you?"

Grell's mouth parts with a gasp and the first drop of a tear smears on William's arm. "You'll let me pick it out, won't you?" She presses against his chest. "I want red, you know? It would look beautiful on you." She begins to close her eyes as William tucks her against him and starts breathing slower. She feels his response blown heated against her hair, a soft chuckle. 

You are already the most beautiful thing on me.


End file.
